Hours at the Hermitage

I visited the famous Hermitage Museum today. It is rumored to be one of the best museums in the world. Its stunning collection, incredible interiors, and scope make it live up to its reputation.

I'm not very good at "doing" museums. I promised myself to do it right this time. I would focus on a few interesting exhibits, but the buildings were so cavernous that I almost immediately got lost. In four hours, I saw:

French art
German art
Flemish art
Modern art
Greek Antiquities
Egyptian Antiquities
Prehistoric Remains from the Caucases
Ancient Tibetan art
European Armor
Italian Art
Spanish Art

...should I go on? Suffice to say it was overload. What impressed me most--and what truly sets the museum apart--was that the rooms were that housed the art were also elegantly designed, historic, and beautiful. The Hermitage is titillating, if you dose it right.

Note on Babushkas
The museum also contained carefully placed babushkas in every single room. Are you familiar with the concept of the eastern European grannie? You know, the one in the round knit hat and long cloak, possibly with cane, notorious for spying and not taking shit from anybody?

The Russian babushka takes it to a new level. Here, they come ornamented with a porcupine-like fur hats, fashionable boots, and piercing hawks' eyes that give you the jitters. The expression is set permanently to Grim, and every movement is deliberate. I believe the Russians even have a word for the babushkas who work at supermarkets. It translates to Thunder Woman.

So, as I mentioned, every room in the Hermitage has a resident babushka. They're as good as they come in terms of stopping tourists from taking pictures where they shouldn't, eating and drinking in the wrong place, etc. I was reprimanded by babushkas in Russian at least four times, and I'm not sure why. The best part was seeing all their heads peak around the corners when they heard my footsteps. The worst part was that it's hard to enjoy anything when a granny's narrowed eyes are boring into your back.

I left today feeling gratified at seeing a couple really famous pieces by Matisse and Piccaso, and relieved to be out of there. The Hermitage requires at least two days of aesthetic sipping. I pounded it. Time to hibernate in my room and eat chocolate to recover.

See that figure wearing black? That's a babushka heading my way, to tell me that water is not allowed outside the cafe.